Tuesday, August 25, 2009
#3... The Christian Heartland Commonwealth Proclaimed
(from the New York Times, April 7, 2013)
Christian Heartland Commonwealth Declared
Governor Budley Releases Statement
In a message today from the newly created Commonwealth Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma,
Governor Jason Budley, Rep. OK, proclaimed the official establishment of the Christian Heartland Commonwealth. In his statement, Governor Budley stated that in no way would the Commonwealth affect the unity of America, but that it established a zone of economic and moral protection that reflected the will and the wishes of the 4 state area that have voted to join in the project.
"In light of the recent economic upheavals and social unrest that have affected certain areas of The Great United States, we are forming a Commonwealth to protect the pure ideals and the special economic bond we have formed and sealed with our faith", the governor stated.
Governor Budley emphasized that while freedom of the press was one of the cornerstones of American greatness, he would be compelled to respect the will of the people who elected him. The Commonwealth has created a corps of editorial overseers to enforce their standards in the papers and media within the region.
The governor also authorized the standardization of internet resources and access within the Christian Heartland Commonwealth. There will be one server for the time being and they recommend that anyone who wants to conduct business by internet or have unhampered communication with anyone residing within the boundaries of the Commonwealth to subscribe to the newly created "Dovenet" and "Dovemail" services.
The Commonwealths internet service is totally filtered and spam free.
President Palin, who in the past voiced opposition to the plan, today, released a statement praising the Commonwealth and stated that in her opinion it in no way threatened the future unity of the United States.
Her husband and Chief of Staff, General Todd Palin is rumored to have been engaged in talks to head up a committee to investigate the possibility of granting a Commonwealth Status to his home state, Alaska.
Christian Heartland Commonwealth Declared
Governor Budley Releases Statement
In a message today from the newly created Commonwealth Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma,
Governor Jason Budley, Rep. OK, proclaimed the official establishment of the Christian Heartland Commonwealth. In his statement, Governor Budley stated that in no way would the Commonwealth affect the unity of America, but that it established a zone of economic and moral protection that reflected the will and the wishes of the 4 state area that have voted to join in the project.
"In light of the recent economic upheavals and social unrest that have affected certain areas of The Great United States, we are forming a Commonwealth to protect the pure ideals and the special economic bond we have formed and sealed with our faith", the governor stated.
Governor Budley emphasized that while freedom of the press was one of the cornerstones of American greatness, he would be compelled to respect the will of the people who elected him. The Commonwealth has created a corps of editorial overseers to enforce their standards in the papers and media within the region.
The governor also authorized the standardization of internet resources and access within the Christian Heartland Commonwealth. There will be one server for the time being and they recommend that anyone who wants to conduct business by internet or have unhampered communication with anyone residing within the boundaries of the Commonwealth to subscribe to the newly created "Dovenet" and "Dovemail" services.
The Commonwealths internet service is totally filtered and spam free.
President Palin, who in the past voiced opposition to the plan, today, released a statement praising the Commonwealth and stated that in her opinion it in no way threatened the future unity of the United States.
Her husband and Chief of Staff, General Todd Palin is rumored to have been engaged in talks to head up a committee to investigate the possibility of granting a Commonwealth Status to his home state, Alaska.
Episode #2...General Todd And The Geezer
“Todd...oooh, Todd!” a muffled female voice came from inside the locked doors of the oval office. “Shut up!” replied a gruff male voice. “Just relax and enjoy it. You know you love it”
....The corridor was empty outside in the hall of the White House. There were agents strationed discreetly and there was some activity in the outer halls.
From the door of the Oval Office, the muffled female voice became a passionate moan...an attempt at a plea, “C'mon, Todd, this isn’t right...here on the desk! There’s papers here, important stuff! Please wait!”
There was a sharp slap of a palm on a face and a little yelp, like a small animal and the other voice said, in an urgent gruff growl,
“I’ve never made love to a president before!” He laughed cruelly and the female voice moaned and said “Oooh Todd, you bastard”....
As this little drama unfolded behind closed doors, a phlanx of secret service agents strode purposefully down the corridor. They got to the door of the oval office and began to pound on the door just as Todd collapsed in a spent heap across the prone form of his wife, Sarah. “Open up! Secret Service! Mrs. Palin are you alright?”
“Uhh, just fine...” came a weak voice from behind the door, “just give me a second.”
The door opened and a disheveled Todd Palin, who was obviously adjusting his clothing let the agents in.
The chief agent looked a little embarrassed as Mrs.Palin, blushing discreetly smoothed and pulled her skirt into place.
Todd asked sharply, :”What is the meaning of this?”
The agent said, “Mr. Cheney told us you might need a hand straightening up a little mess here.” After a nervous silence, the agent added, “Madame President!”
Todd and Sarah looked at each other and breathed a sigh of relief. “Well, uh, okay then." Obviously, the call to Cheney had the desired results.
The geezers body is in the anteroom.” he motioned to a side door.
“Look” Todd went on, “Did Cheney tell you what happened?”
The agent looked at the others and said, “No sir, not exactly, he just said that McCain had met with an unfortunate accident which might be hard to explain and we had better get down here and help you clean things up.”
Sarah looked at Todd, with a little embarrassment and pride. She informed the agents that Todd had just been made a General by her order. “I’m sure there is some kind of clause in the Bush Emergency Powers Acts which cover this.” she added carefully, “After all he is still actually in the miltary. He was a member of the Alaskan National Guard Reserve. I’ll sort out his exact rank tomorrow, but as of now, General Todd Palin is my personal military aide and you will listen to his orders!”
The Secret Service men looked at each other warily and the Chief Agent saluted and said curtly, “Yes, Madame President!.”
The Palins looked at each other with elated relief. Who would ever have guessed it would have been this simple? The agents upon opening the door were taken aback. The old geezer had obviously put up quite a struggle. The room was in a shambles, but he was quite dead and obviously had been for quite a while, with the cord from the brass lamp he had been brained with still tightly wrapped around his neck.
....The corridor was empty outside in the hall of the White House. There were agents strationed discreetly and there was some activity in the outer halls.
From the door of the Oval Office, the muffled female voice became a passionate moan...an attempt at a plea, “C'mon, Todd, this isn’t right...here on the desk! There’s papers here, important stuff! Please wait!”
There was a sharp slap of a palm on a face and a little yelp, like a small animal and the other voice said, in an urgent gruff growl,
“I’ve never made love to a president before!” He laughed cruelly and the female voice moaned and said “Oooh Todd, you bastard”....
As this little drama unfolded behind closed doors, a phlanx of secret service agents strode purposefully down the corridor. They got to the door of the oval office and began to pound on the door just as Todd collapsed in a spent heap across the prone form of his wife, Sarah. “Open up! Secret Service! Mrs. Palin are you alright?”
“Uhh, just fine...” came a weak voice from behind the door, “just give me a second.”
The door opened and a disheveled Todd Palin, who was obviously adjusting his clothing let the agents in.
The chief agent looked a little embarrassed as Mrs.Palin, blushing discreetly smoothed and pulled her skirt into place.
Todd asked sharply, :”What is the meaning of this?”
The agent said, “Mr. Cheney told us you might need a hand straightening up a little mess here.” After a nervous silence, the agent added, “Madame President!”
Todd and Sarah looked at each other and breathed a sigh of relief. “Well, uh, okay then." Obviously, the call to Cheney had the desired results.
The geezers body is in the anteroom.” he motioned to a side door.
“Look” Todd went on, “Did Cheney tell you what happened?”
The agent looked at the others and said, “No sir, not exactly, he just said that McCain had met with an unfortunate accident which might be hard to explain and we had better get down here and help you clean things up.”
Sarah looked at Todd, with a little embarrassment and pride. She informed the agents that Todd had just been made a General by her order. “I’m sure there is some kind of clause in the Bush Emergency Powers Acts which cover this.” she added carefully, “After all he is still actually in the miltary. He was a member of the Alaskan National Guard Reserve. I’ll sort out his exact rank tomorrow, but as of now, General Todd Palin is my personal military aide and you will listen to his orders!”
The Secret Service men looked at each other warily and the Chief Agent saluted and said curtly, “Yes, Madame President!.”
The Palins looked at each other with elated relief. Who would ever have guessed it would have been this simple? The agents upon opening the door were taken aback. The old geezer had obviously put up quite a struggle. The room was in a shambles, but he was quite dead and obviously had been for quite a while, with the cord from the brass lamp he had been brained with still tightly wrapped around his neck.
Life During Wartime #1 The Camps
The small planes engine sputtered fitfully as it arced lazily through the dullgrey chilly mist that had settled over Lower Manhattan all morning.
People scuttled along 14th Street looking up at the small object in the kind of annoyed fear you would feel with the buzzing of a wasp in a room.
The local news had interrupted the morning programming with yet another special breaking news announcement of a yet another "unidentified terrorist" threat. This was the fourth such incident in the last week. The rumors were going around that this particular new series of incidents were just another bit of theater staged by the Homeland Security Public Relations Strategy Committee to keep the level of terrorism alertness up in a bored public. The rumor was that the planes, which were invariably shot down over the harbour or over the razed uninhabited acres of The Bronx, were being flown by desparate young people who had been rounded up in the latest Surge On Poverty. They had been told that their families would have a sure fire ticket out of the detention camps if they sacrificed themselves for a good show to keep the citizens on their toes.
The Surge on Poverty, the very idea gave Marvin a headache as he walked on down the Street, through crowds of pedestrians all, like him, trying to look anonymous and not too conspicuously poor. No one knew what the guidelines were anymore.
It had started with the Surge on Inner City Crime...
Three years into the first term of President McCain and hundreds of square miles of America's blighted inner cities had been leveled. The initial Surge on Crime had sparked an Urban Guerilla movement and using the techniques which had prolonged the War in Iraq, a door to door campaign of searches in the designated areas had provoked organized and violent resistance. This had all been made legal and approved by the new improved "Classic" Patriot Act '09.
It was with a heavy heart that President McCain declared another State of Emergency and ordered the areas cleared and razed. They were "depressing" he had said.
America didn't need to have its morale destroyed by the cycle of poverty.
There would be camps, happy places where people could learn how to live productive happy lives and almost daily, there were "feel good" features on the news broadcasts of people in the camps putting on talent shows and making interesting things out of recycled tires.
Marvin saw the plane circle around again, sputter and then start to slowly, gracefully with increasing speed head out over the East River. There was a small explosion as it was hit by a missle operated by the River Defense Unit. A cloud of smoke and the pieces all fell into the East River.
He felt a litttle reassured, but still, the thing that really was worrying him was the reports of young people becoming suicide bombs. The government reports tried to play up the terrorist connections and use it to fuel the fear that there were many terrorist training cells in our midsts.
A fifteen year old girl was stopped as she was about to detonate herself in a Mall in Pennsylvania. She had escaped from a Cindy McCain Drug Treatment Facility.
The only statement she made that was released by the press was an incoherent rant about "If you had to eat lime green jello with cottage cheese everyday and listen to that fucking non stop ABBA music...WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
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