April 16, 2015
The Washington Post
Family Fued Goes Nuclear!
In the latest exchange of charges between President Palin and her estranged husband, Governor-General Todd Palin, the war of words and charges escalated dramatically.
The Governor-General claimed the near miss by an air to air missle classified officially as “friendly fire” was actually an assination attempt by his wife, the president.
Governor-General Palin claims inside knowlege from sources loyal to him with in the Alaskan Commonwealth National Guard has made it clear to him that the attempt was thwarted only because members of the crew loyal to him took quick action to thwart the aiming of the missle.
When the Air Force plane returned to the base, the member of the crew who fired the missle was placed in custody, pending an investigation, Our souces have learned though that the airman has disappeared. There is no word at this time as to the present where abouts of Airman Corporal Steven E. Lang.
Governor-General Palin claims that this is part of his wifes attempts to destabilize the Commonwealth after he entered into talks with Russia, Canada and Denmark regarding the establishment of the Polar Protection Pact, which would function as a sort of Military Alliance between the countries sharing the Polar regions of the planet.
President Palin and Secretary of State, Limbaugh have restated their position that Alaska is a part of the United States and has no independant authority to undertake any negotiations with any other country on its own behalf.
Sevretary Limbaugh stated, “Todd Palin has been relieved from his duties and rank as General. What ever he is calling himself now, General Commander, Generalissimo, Governor General is illegal and out and out treason!”
Further more, Secretary Limbaugh stated that what ever force was needed would be used to insure the territorial unity and integrity of The United States.
Governor-General Palin issued a statement saying that Madam Palin couldn’t keep the lower 48 in line and Alaska was capable of deciding what was best for Alaska!
He also mentioned that he was in control of the Alaskan American Nuclear Arsenal and said they could be aimed where ever he damn well pleased.
Cooler heads in both the Canadian and Russian capitals have urged the Palins to calm down and try to resolve their marital problems with out bringing up the threat of nuclear annilihation.